I just spent an hour and a half listening to 4 grad students tell me how hard the next two years of my life are going to be. Getting into grad school is harder than actual Grad School, says the geeky grad student who works 60 hours a week. Well shit. I knew that it was going to be hard, but I wasn’t expecting it to be THIS hard. I’m just really overwhelmed right now, but also very excited. More people get into Med school than into clinical psychology Ph. D programs. It just so happens that I’m gunna go for the latter. So here I go. I’m gunna start getting ready to take the GRE and GREII and have to work to keep my grades where they are and start making friends with the faculty. I have a lot to do, and when it boils down to it, not a lot of time to do it. This is gunna be rough.
So right now, I’m sitting in the “customer lounge” at Classic Chevy in Mentor. Just a routine check-up on my car; getting an oil change. An old man with long white hair came up and sat at the table I was sitting at and started chatting about the movie groundhog day. Weird, given that groundhog day was… 17 days ago? I’m not sure when it was, but it was a while ago. The man proceeds to tell me that its one of his favorite movies, along with the godfather. So he carries on asking me what kind of car I drive and talks about donuts and coffee. Then he got up, got a cup of decaf coffee, and walked away. I’m not sure where he went… but, while he creeped me out, it made me very happy, and I realized how fortunate I am to be sitting here at this table, typing a blog on my phone and waiting for my car to be all tuned up.
Either that or I’m schizophrenic and this man was a projection from my demented mind. I’m really hoping he was real.
Listened to my stats teacher make fun of people that have nothing to do on valentines day.
Ate dinner alone.
Read a love note I wrote over and over again. I actually did do this, I’m not just saying it. It’s terrible.
Listened to stupid love songs.
Cried and my patheticness.
Typed this list so I never forget how much it sucks to be alone on Valentines day when you’re trying to avoid fatty foods like french fries… and chocolate. You know, those really good foods that help you get through days that are strategically designed to make you feel like total shit?
The teacher isn’t here yet. Maybe he canceled class and we don’t know it. He has 3 minutes to get here. I wonder If he’ll make it. I like this teacher. He’s from Washington. It’s neat. I really don’t like anyone in this class. Maybe I’m just judgmental, but they all seem pretty terrible. Except for maybe a handful… They’re all a little too concerned with their sororities and fraternities than I would like. They can probably see what I’m typing. I don’t care. They should know that what they’re doing is insignificant. That’s a little pretentious of me to say that; maybe it’s important to them. That’s good for them if it makes them happy. Today’s been a good day. I had a fantastic dream and then a really good break between classes. Ope and the teacher showed up. Only 5 minutes late. I might have a small crush on him. But in my defense, he’s a grad student. Also married, I believe. I’m a weirdo and a big ball of love today. I don’t know why but I’m happy. Even though a lot of bad thoughts have come to me today, like being replaced and under-appreciated, I don’t even care which is kind of a big deal. Normally I’d dwell on those bad ideas and get all sad. But not today. =] Good day.